'Time heals everything',  a sentence repeated every now and then.

Baba Thamb na re Tu..Baba Zavunako dur

Just opened a blank white sheet  from my Microsoft word. The blankness symbolizing my current state of life.

Life has always been so rosy! School, education, my first job, my marriage, my kids and last but not the least the immense love around me. Lot of Ups and Down’s, lot of struggle, but yet there was always a shoulder..broad and strong to support me in everything I did. Those eyes which had a profound trust and confidence which gave me that zeal to win over anything. Those tears, which came out easily at every important occasion of mine . that sense of happiness when I bagged a good rank in my higher degree, that proud moment for him when I got my first job and that tear that rolled down when he first heard about the love of my life and that extreme happiness in my marriage……Suddenly vanished!! It was all gone! I lost him.. and this time lost him forever. My father was gone . He left to a place from where I can never get him back.

It’s a month baba that I have seen you, heard your voice !  I know I can never ever see you. My mind understands that but my heart still screams out, I want you back in my life for holding me in pain, I need you to love me and my kids, I want  you to taste my food and relish that for yet another time, Please come back!!! I’m missing all the fights we had. Missing that care ,which I’m sure can never get from anybody in life.

Aai ekti padli majhi! I do not have the habit of seeing her idle. I always saw aai doing something for you. She now sits alone all day. Always lost in some deep thoughts. You have left such big void space in her life which no book can fill. She tells me that you don’t even come in her dreams…

Shaan has become very responsible, he is a big boy now Baba! Younger to me but malach sambhaltho! It’s like time has pulled out all the cheerfulness from him. He rarely smiles now.majha lahan lekru gharcha motha jahalay atha. He cleans his bike and cars all by himself. Household goshthi sagle karayla shiklay.But he sagla bagayla tumhi nahiyet zawal baba!

You always had a complain that I don’t come home very frequently. You always wanted me to stay with you for few days. This time I stayed baba ..like you said for 14 days but you were nowhere. I called you so many times to sit with me. And this time, mind you I had lot of time…I still have lot of time to listen to you, to understand your pain that you went through, the pain when your soul was leaving your body. But I could hear only silence.

Life does not stop when you lose a person. But building memories with that beloved person do stop!!. I got back to my routine without you , chikoo goes to school, bittu  and titu play with their toys and aai still sends me things home but the only difference is …this is all WITHOUT YOU!!

My favourite pastime has now become surfing the internet on things like  ‘do souls really exists?’ , Can they see us even after their death – all this just to have one glimpse of you.

The day when shaan got your photo, we all cried a lot. our heart sank when the thought that we can see you only in Photographs now flashed. There is a grave look in the house ..things are still left at the place where you last saw them. The other day , opened the cupboard where we maintained all your medicines, they still smell you. I can still smell you there Baba! Syndopa, nervofit and god knows what all!!!

It’s 1 month that you passed, slowly steadily it will be months and then years… we may not cry the same everyday..but the blankness in our hearts with out you around will always be there! You might have taken a birth again somewhere but our BABA will be alive within us always and forever. I will never forget you baba but yes one thing is sure..Things would have been different, if you were here.

Just wish you read this letter by some means and understand how much we miss and love you !

Yes I'm Dominating!!

She is so dominating! Ouch!

I'm always considered or misinterpreted as bossy! May be that's in my genes :-) .Being the Eldest in the family I have always learnt to take responsibilities which I considered as 'Ownership, people mistook it as Domination.
This word domination can be interpreted differently by different people. On one end domination means dictatorship and the only one person who was gud at this..Adolf Hitler.

For me, Domination is taking the lead. when you dominate, you have the ownership.Whether others agree or disagree , they feel secured in your presence.

Does this mean people who are dominating are always the dictators, and does that mean they do not have emotions or pain?

I have often seen  people have a recorder ready to show your cons. Whatever goes wrong  we the dominator(nice word to use ;-) ) are held in Courtroom's docks.Actually it's all in the perception.

We, the dominators are  not actually bad it's just that we are over possessive,over  concerned and over reactive. it;s high time we realise, people do not need that from us.

We should be proud to be called so! we are leaders! next time when people call you dominating! Smile!  Understand the hidden meaning ;-)

Novels ,Novels and just Novels

Weekend is approaching...I have 2 beautiful books in hand ordered from flipkart.com. the Novels by Ravinder Singh. I can't wait to read them!!

I too had a Love story :  Heard a lot about this book..I even heard that people have gone in trauma after reading this!! Hmmm...if this is the reaction form common people..imagine my condition!!

And the second Novel Can Love happen twice? Strangely, I started reading the second book before the first. So far so good in the book but yes..there is a hidden tragedy in the coming chapters I'm not aware of.

How can people express so well! it is rightly said, it is not the language that is important, Successful writing touches the soul.

The other day I was telling my husband that why girls become so emotional when they read love stories..to that the ans was as expected  "you girls do not really need a reason to cry"  :-(

Ufff! why are weekends so short? I have Sanchit's b'day celebrations tomorrow. Left with 1 day and 2 beautiful books..
What if we work for 2 days a week and enjoy 5 days of weekend. My crzy thoughts have no limits!!

Truly Ecstatic Feeling

Each one of us take pleasure in our hobbies. I love Music.It can make my day and sometime take me into a world where I forget everything around me.

It happened to me again yesterday.it worked as a dew drop on a fresh winter morning.What a Song! 

Bahe More Naina from the movie Ra-one!  Yesterday night,when the world was fast asleep...there was no other sound in the air except for my ceiling Fan and then I turned on this song from my mobile and  with my eyes closed felt, there is so much of pain and grief in this song.

It's over a dozen times that I played this song and in fact even now I'm enjoying every word of the song.

The combination of Vishal Dadlani,Shekar and Nandini is simply great!! 

I suggest few songs..which might have missed the tag of a "hit number" but they really are worth listening...

1)  Bahe More Naina from the movie -- Ra-One

2)  Ab mujhe koi Intezaar from the movie -- Ishquiya

3) Kanha(Thumri) from the Movie -- Veer.

Ah I need to have a hot cup of Coffee now!!  Bye for now...

Keep reading and do suggest me some more good songs in any language..because ...Music has no Barriers 

My Bliss Of Solitude

Weekend is approaching..Few hours left to enjoy my 2 day independence. My Bliss of Solitude would be, ending a Friday on a good note,an early signoff to work.
What a life would it be if you wake up realizing you had a wonderful undisturbed sleep. When you pass your living room you suddenly feel happy seeing all things neat and tidy in place. With a hot cup of tea, you settle on a couch for an hour reading a Metro supplement and then the Breakfast time..Some hot spicy Paratha's with extra butter and enjoying every munch without regretting on the diet.
With a cup of coffee settling down with a Chetan Bhagat's romantic Novel and reading it hours together.And then..the TV time..The moment you switch on the T.V , your all time favorite movies one after the another lined up  and watching them without any disturbaces(cricket Matches,news,pogo) followed with good food.
And the day ends with your favourite Ice-cream and going to sleep feeling happy that the next day is Sunday and scheduling activities dozing off to sleep.

OMG! The feeling that tomorrow is a Saturday is such wonderful...Will let you know if all that I have written above take a real form atleast to an extent! or no  But I'm sure, I end up watching Chota Bheem on POGO all day .
God save the POGO Channel.

Chikoo's first day to school!!

With my misty eyes, I could just see the little hands stretching out of the school bus for me. That scared look in his eyes and the fear that he is left alone in that new environment made my chikoo look worried. Finally the big day in everybody’s life was there in front of him “THE SCHOOL”.

There was a strange feeling when he boarded his school bus. He could see his aai, baba, ajji, athya, kaku with him and waving happily in excitement. There were lot many  things going on in his mind .lot many question why?, how?, where?, will I?.  We followed the school bus and all through my way my eyes constantly searched for my little one in the school bus.

Time flew so fast! I never realized that my little darling had grown up and it’s his first day to school.  The memories of his birth were still so fresh in my mind and tears rolled down as thoughts flooded down my mind. Suddenly one jerk in the car and I saw the school bus taking a different route to the school. I started panicking as his eyes would search for us as soon as he gets down the bus.

I got down the car and hurried to reach him as he was crying but realized that suddenly the distance between us was so much that I couldn’t even run to pacify him….

But the confusion, the fear we had, all dropped down to zero when we were in the school. We had a warm welcome from the principal, followed by the school prayer and a small meeting...The excitement we saw in chikoo when we took him to his class was worth watching!!

He softly introduced himself to his teacher; we had some commitment exchanges with his teacher and thus chikoo’s first day in the school ended on a cheerful note.

When we came back home, I was very worried that how he will get accustomed to the school environment, eating habits etc…but my chikoo unaware of the fact that it was just his first day at school and that he will  have to face a lot many challenges in the new environment, with the new ppl... started his favorite pass time   “His car and the bikes show”